M/X Fanfic 100: "Do-It-Yourself," PG

I wonder if this will seem as funny in the morning as it does right now. I doubt it.

Title: Do-It-Yourself
Fandom: XMM
Pairing: Xavier/Magneto
Prompt: square
Word Count: 373
Rating: PG



“If I never see another ceramic square again, I will die a happy man. Pass me the trowel.”

“It’s not a trowel,” Charles said, handing him the tool in question. “It isn’t as if we’re laying bricks. This is a much smaller scale project.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You only have to do the tiles you can reach.”

“This was your idea. I seem to recall suggesting that we hire someone.”

“Oh yes. You’d just explain that you need to add another bathroom to accommodate the new arrivals at your illegal school --”

“ -- which is, as we speak, in the process of getting accredited --”

“ -- excuse me, Charles, your illegal school for the children of the atom --”

“ -- I mean, we’ll have to be, in order for everything to go smoothly when Jean is ready to apply to university next year and I’ve been talking to --”

“ -- and the plumber, of course, will be fascinated with your sad story and with my sorry application of grout and tile when he sees it, because I am not doing that dirty job, and charge an arm-and-a -- ”

“ -- the State Board of Education about the Regents exam and . . .” Charles trailed off. “What did you say?”

“I am not a plumber. I don’t do pipes.”

“But they’re made of metal.”

“So? What, that means I should know everything about them? I do circuits, electronics. I’m an engineer.”

“An engineer with magnetic powers,” Charles said, in what he hoped was a persuasive tone. Erik only frowned. "Damn," said Charles. He sounded as if he had been betrayed. He dropped the tile he’d been holding and it landed with an awful shattering sound. “I can tell you’re pleased, you know.”

With some considerable effort, Erik frowned harder. “If you’re so psychic, what possibly could have led you to believe I wanted anything to do with the lavatory?”

“I don’t go prying into your mind unless it’s necessary. I have ethics, Erik.” The telepath looked pained.

“Too many ethics to leave room for common sense, apparently," he grumbled, applying more grout to the stripped wall with a backhand stroke. "Expecting your lover to install toilets is not what I call ethics.”

Charles cocked his head. “You do look rather dashing holding that trowel.”

fin

(16/100)